Just survive! And keep smiling?!!!

Sorry guys, know i haven't said much in awhile. Didn't want to be negative. Things are tense, but ok. On any given day i go thru depression, disappointment, reminiscing, boredom, stress, and then self-encouragement which includes my own cheer in my head; " i can do this, yes i can, i can do this, watch me STAND!", my own theme song; "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield." And a reminder song that fairytales are possible; "Lucky" by Jason Mraz, now my ring song on my phone. I have many things to be greatful for, most of all my health, my brain, and my Heavenly Father's love which has gotten me thru it all. There's still so many things i don't understand, things i wish i didn't understand, and things i have always understood. So, here i am, constantly ready for epiphanies, and hopefully diminishing my natural stubborn humanity enough so i can acutally hear what HE wants me to do. Love you guys tons! I hope even though i am not the best example of a big sister, that i have at least given u useful advice from time to time and have lovingly stood back and let you live your lives with loving support. And i hope you know that if any disaster happened i would do my best to swoop down by your side and help you through it, OR rescue you. Luvs!